From Onset to Offset
by Queen of Desert Sands
Summary: New and Improved...lol Link starts on a new adventure...one like never before


**From Onset to Offset**

Shortly after his battle with the evil formally know as Ganon (enter Prince Music here.) The hero departed from his beloved friends and as he did the Great Sea crept into a period of silence. The hero, no longer needed for his destiny was fulfilled started a few new hobbies like model building and solving wonders of the world like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop. Life had grown so very, very boring and for a time Link had thought he was dancing on the edge of insanity; until one fateful day there came a knock at his door….Guess who? The Rito postman of course…and when the letter touched Link's hand his destiny would be altered for the rest of his life (or until I decide to kill him off, or just run out of ideas.) The letter was from Prince Komali inviting Link and his younger sister Ayrll to his birthday party…"Hey Link! Hey! What should I wear? Does this look good?"

"high pitched girly scream who are you? How in the hell did you get in here? Are you lost little girl?" Link cried as he threw on his green tunic.

"Link, you're so funny! I'm your little sister of course!"

"Oh, hey Amanda?" the words slipped from his mouth in a curious hiss "Its Ayrll…"

"Yeah, uh-huh Amanda sure." The green garbed boy walked from the upper-level of his home where he decided to strike up a conversation with his grandmother

"Hey, Granny…remember that chick I told you was hanging around in the house again? What's her name? Amanda! She's back…and this time she's saying she's my sister." He called.

"Oh, Link you silly boy the only people in here are you, me, and your sister Ayrll." The plump white haired women continued cooking merrily in the back corner of the house…

"Hey! Granny I'm going to go outside."

"Oh, Alright. Do be back before dinner though."

"Yeah uh-huh whatever….I hate her…" the young boy walked down off his front porch and looked far into the horizon for a moment he felt the memories of so long ago fill his heart with angst, how he yearned to be out upon the waves again.

"Oh, hello Link! How are you today?" a small girl whom had recently move from Windfall Island approached him with a shy smile.

"Yeah, hey doll what's kicking? You wanna see my MASTER sword or something?"

"Wow! Would you really let me see it?"

"Sure why don't we just go up to my room and I'll pull it right out…I'll let you touch it if you want." The young girl smiled,

"Hey! There you are Link!"

"WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING, ME LITTLE GIRL?" He roared.

"What do you mean why am I following you?" Ayrll asked. Link sighed.

"Okay, okay little girl I understand you like me and all but come on now, sneaking around my house, pretending you're my sister! Come on, that's just weird! Now Amanda, why don't you go play hide n' go jump off a cliff somewhere." He tried to compromise with her, but her looks gave him the feeling that she wasn't gonna go anywhere.

"First off my name is Ayrll, not Amanda, secondly, grandma told me not to play that game anymore, and finally I am your sister!"

"Right, okay, sure you are….Now why did you come here?"

"Because the Rito postman left a letter for you!"

"Oh, okay, well then Amanda, I'm going to go back to MY house, so I suggest you go back to YOUR house, okay?" And with that the young boy ran up the porch and inside the house where he found a letter awaiting him. It Read:

Yo! Link! What it is, fool? Well baby I'm having this dope ass par-tay at my pad round' 10 o' clock. Be there, aight? Oh, and you better bring a present or I'll pop a cap in your candy ass.  
Komali a.k.a a real O.G  
P.S- R.S.V.P Biotch

On the night of the party, the winds blew with a vengeance waves slamming into the King of Red lions nearly capsizing it several times...Alas their destination was reached and they reached the Interco fines of the Rito lair……"Yo, Link! How you be?" Rito greeted. Link sighed before replying.

"Did you see a little blonde girl that we don't know follow me in here?" He asked. Rito shook his head.

"Naw baby chill, man, chill, I only saw your little sis." He said

"Who?"

"You know, Ayrll."

"Right."

"So did you bring my present?"

"Yeah, dude, its right here."

"Cool, man, Cool, I didn't want to kill you dawg."

"Okay, I'm gonna go get me something to drink." Link informed him as he departed from his friend.

"Yeah whatever man, whatever. Hey, Rick, what's up fool? Where's my present biotch?"

"Oh, sorry man I couldn't afford one dude." Rick replied.

"Ah, Hell no, hell no. Is Prince Komali gonna have to choke a biotch? Huh? Is he, is he?"

"No, Prince Komali doesn't have to choke a biotch."

"Yeah, your right man, I'm gonna have to shoot one." Gunshots

"AHHH…I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

"Yeah don't worry baby, I'll finish you later, shooting people gets me hungry, I'm going get me some cake. Hey Rick you want some cake?"

"Yes please."

"Aight dawg. One second."

"Hey Link! I'm going to go out and play with the birdies okay?" came a small chirpy voice that made Link jump a little.

"EEK er Ah….Why are you following me?" He asked rather annoyed by the continuous interruptions.

"Cuz' grandma told me to stay close to you!" Ayrll said in a matter-of-factly tone. Link was deeply annoyed at this point, and then an idea popped into his brain.

"Hey I got a better idea why don't you go and Fly with the birdies?" He shot, hoping that she take the hint.

"That sounds a lot like Hide N' go jump off a cliff." She shot back. Link sighed and moaned at the same time.

"Just go end my misery."

"Oh, okay, Link." She said.

"Hey Link, dude where just about to cut the cake!" Komali called out. Link turned in his general direction and called back.

"Okay, coming Komali."

"Man, where's your sister at dawg?" Komali asked. Link looked confused.

"Who?"

"Ayrll."

"Right uh-huh…yeah….I don't have a sister." He replied.

"Whatever man lets go." Kamali said as all of the members of the Rito tribe stood around the gigantic birthday cake and the traditional Rito coming of age song rang throw the building, the candles where blow out, and the first piece of cake cut.

"YUMMY CAKE" The young hero of winds inched a delicious chocolate morsel into to his mouth, when AK-47 bullets pierced through the walls of the Rito lair. (Just goes to show you can't have your cake and eat it too.)

"Eek….Someone Ricks dead…help…someone." A young Rito girl stood over a corpse of a boy about the same age as she. Link made his was out into the balcony to witness a horrific site….Three slices of cake lay motionless on the ground…as did that one Amanda chick…but being heroic and brave as he is made the cake his first priority. Quickly and agilely he scooped up the slices of cake stuffing them effortlessly into his mouth as he made his way to the wounded Ayrll.

"Link you came" she cried happily.

"Damn it, I was hoping you where dead." With that the girl collapsed in silence…and an evil yet extremely cultured laugh echoed into the dim light of the evening sky…the creature's voice all too familiar, Ganon had been revived.

Three weeks later Ayrll awoke from her comma, she was briefed about the occurrences of the party, and she had survived 9 gun shot wounds. Amazed she was alive she decided to do something productive with her life and started a career as a rapper. Link because he hated her and her music decided to go after Ganon, and put a stop to his insidious cake throwing on the ground ways set sail into the new horizon. Once again he'd bring peace to the great sea.

**End of Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda…yeah I know it sucks**

**Special Thanks to Vega Strife and Yugi'slightkeepsmepure**


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